Ever since I came back from Japan and took that psychology class and freaked out about the content of it, especially that Donnie Darko movie, all summer I had been worrying about returning to the former self I was 5 years ago right around the time that my parents got divorced. Since releasing those feelings in therapy, I now have just a lot of anxiousness and my right side of my head feels like it has a lot of pressure on it (physically) and now I'm freaking out about me might having brain cancer O_o I don't want to go to the doctor and pay a lot of money for something that I don't know could be just a result of my anxiousness and me always freaking out about everything, but I'm really tired of feeling this way and I just wish I could tell myself to stop it! calm the fuck down! but it's not that simple. I really think that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain, but I'm not willing to take anti-depressants or anything like that because I still want to be me you know, that stuff changes you and I don't want that. I have been looking at natural ways to balance my brain chemistry but I have yet to try any of it because I've been so busy with school...speaking of that I have no freaking idea how I'm passing all my classes when I feel like this but...I am somehow.
To go on top of all this, about a couple of weeks ago I met this guy and for the first time I thought I was in love....well I at first I didn't really like him, but then he kissed me and I did start to have feelings for him...and that was during the first time we met. I know I did somethings that I shouldn't have done on that first meeting like..go to his house alone, but I don't know, something just felt right so I did it. after the first meeting I met him again and the more I met him, the more clothes came off I guess you could say...he was the first guy that ever said I had a smokin' body and that my boobs were fucking gorgeous lol and I started to fall for him. During the fifth or fourth time we met, he was the first guy to see me naked and I didn't feel uncomfortable at all with it...we connected so fast in such a short amount of time I didn't even know what to say. The fifth or fourth time we met though was the last time that we met though. After I was completely naked, I didn't want to have sex with him because I wasn't ready...and I told him I wasn't going to blow him either! after I said that I guessed he got stressed and started smoking. Now, I told him before that I didn't want to be around him when he smoked and I was a damn guest in his house! but that didn't make any difference to him because he still did it so I walked out. After I did that I felt so bad and used like I just was a useless piece of nothing and I partly walked out because I couldn't stand the smell and partly because I did want him to come after me and show me that he actually gave a fuck about me and how I felt...but he didn't. I sat down in the lobby for a little bit and then not knowing what to do I called him. I asked him to come down here and talk to me but he refused and he said "you can come back up if you'd like" at the moment I was pretty pissed and hurt but I didn't want to leave feeling that way...so I went back. The room still smelled like smoke so I went to the window because I just can't stand the smell. While I was standing there we was going off about how I can't make him change his life and how he never makes me do anything I don't want to and whatever...but how can he say that when all I asked him is to mot smoke around me, I'm his guest, is that too much to ask? I wasn't trying to change the way he is or anything, even though it would be better for him to stop smoking but I didn't ask him to do that. But anyway, after the smoke smell disappeared a little and he was bitching about the cold, I tried to sit down and talk to him. I still somewhere wanted it to work out because he was my first for a lot of things and I didn't want it to end after meeting him for such a short amount of time. After he calmed down a little we did start to make out again and his time...he took off my panties. This was the first time he's seen everything but I wasn't going to have sex with him I couldn't...and after he took them off, even though I wasn't going to have sex with him I still asked him to put on a condom...but at first he didn't want to and then he wanted me to blow him and I just could see myself doing it without some sort of protection....after kissing and telling him to put it on, he does....and for the first time I gave someone a blow job >< I still can't believe I did it because it's even embarrassing now to think about it. I guess the emotions got to me or something. Then, he fingers me...and it hurts....and I say that out loud. And then he gets on top of me and tries to put it in and it hurts like hell so I tell him no. At that point he gets up and goes on his computer and says that someones been waiting for him for 30 min and he totally forgot about this appointment because he's been fooling around with me...Now might I mention that every time I go and see this guy, he always walks me to the bus and I kiss him goodbye. But this time, he walks he out the front door and gives me a wave...I don't understand and I'm really hurt at this point because I feel like a used slut right now.Walking to the bus stop alone, I call him again on the phone and he talks to me as if he's annoyed with me and then...although I'm not sure if he was talking to me, he says "What do you want money, what about $2000" at this point I don't know what to say and I feel like someone just punched me in my gut and slapped me in the face. Why would I open up to such a fucking jerk. I hang up the phone and call my mom to only start crying and telling her what I'm writing about right now. Talking to my mom, he texts me and says, I don't think I'm right for you.... we have this long text back and forth and it basically ends with him saying you can come over tomorrow and we can talk about it if it makes you feel better..followed by, you know what maybe not, sorry if I hurt you. I didn't answer him after that. My mom's now telling me that I should just let her and her friends handle it so he can apologize to me properly and although I really want that, I feel like it's not even worth spending the energy on someone like that. I just feel so stupid that I let myself get that far with him. It was partly because I actually liked him and partly...or more than partly because I was just curious....I had never done some of those things before and I did want to see how it felt...but now, I guess I'm suffering from my curiosity now...
Sometimes I feel I just need a break you know, what the hell is wrong with me! I don't feel happy right now and I feel like I'm suffering...and it's not because of anybody, it's because of me! I feel like I don't have control over my own body, that I'm going to worry and be anxiousness regardless of what I tell my brain to do.
But with the guy, I feel like I wasn't in my right mind...or I was and just lost my sanity for a second. Even though I feel he did totally take advantage of me, it was my fault for letting him in and letting it get that far.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Post Psychology Class
Well, I'm finally done with the first session of summer school and that means I'm finally done with my Psychology class!! That was a rough class from me mentally because it really brought up some feelings that I would have rather liked to have kept buried away deep inside me...but in some ways I'm glad that the class brought up feelings and certain paranormal fears because it made me realize that I have unresolved problems in myself related to my parents divorce and my own personality. I've started seeing a therapist and I'm not even sure if it will help but I'm thinking it will...talking out problems I have seems to be helpful I guess...but anyway, I'm so glad that class is over. It's not that that teacher was mean or anything that was the exact opposite! He was so nice that I could even earn an A in the class....and psychology is not my forte let me tell you! But the class was at 6, so after my internship I had to go right to class which was so tiring for me...and then all the things we talked about in that class were just mentally tiring for me, so after that class I just felt like I was going to break down. But I'm proud of myself because I hung in there and passed the class. It just shows what type of person I am for doing that I think. From this experience I feel like I've become a stronger person....mentally at least. I'll continue my therapy every Friday and hopefully I can become a more mentally stronger person and change my personality to be a more outgoing and flamboyant person.....even though I don't want to change too much because sometimes I like the introverted part of myself.
As for dance, I've started taking drop in dance classes at Joy of Motion on H street in DC. It's pretty good even though I have to take 2 buses to and from every Saturday. But I take two classes there and it's all hip hop based so I'm pretty pleased. The last class I had we did a pretty wide variety of hiphop dance styles including breaking, whacking, house, old school hiphop ect.. That was actually the first time I've ever done breaking and whacking and it's actually pretty fun (especially whacking) but my arms got really tired >< The second class I take there is more choreography where the instructor shows us moves he/she created to a particular song. I like this class too because I LOVE doing choreo! I hope by the time I finish this summer I'm able to pick up moves more easily and be able to learn more quickly....I also want to try out for the dance team again...even though I failed last time, I'm actually pretty nervous about it, but I hope the therapy that I'm going to can make me change into the person I need to get on the team. I think my problem last time was just my personality. I was so shy and timid that when it came time to freestyle, the part that they based the most importance on, I just couldn't do it because I was too embarrassed. I really don't like that part about myself, so I'm hoping to change a little.
As for dance, I've started taking drop in dance classes at Joy of Motion on H street in DC. It's pretty good even though I have to take 2 buses to and from every Saturday. But I take two classes there and it's all hip hop based so I'm pretty pleased. The last class I had we did a pretty wide variety of hiphop dance styles including breaking, whacking, house, old school hiphop ect.. That was actually the first time I've ever done breaking and whacking and it's actually pretty fun (especially whacking) but my arms got really tired >< The second class I take there is more choreography where the instructor shows us moves he/she created to a particular song. I like this class too because I LOVE doing choreo! I hope by the time I finish this summer I'm able to pick up moves more easily and be able to learn more quickly....I also want to try out for the dance team again...even though I failed last time, I'm actually pretty nervous about it, but I hope the therapy that I'm going to can make me change into the person I need to get on the team. I think my problem last time was just my personality. I was so shy and timid that when it came time to freestyle, the part that they based the most importance on, I just couldn't do it because I was too embarrassed. I really don't like that part about myself, so I'm hoping to change a little.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Religion and the paranormal
Ok, So as some may or may not know, I'm taking an abnormal psychology class and can I say I don't do well with abnormal. Ever since I've been taking this class I've felt the distress and trauma I went through for five years during and post my parents divorce. I would cry like three times a day and have sudden panic attacks....it was really scary because I thought I was going insane but when I called my mom one day crying trying to explain to her what was happening to me, she pointed out that I'm a hypochondriac...I always think something is wrong with me...and I mean I'm like an extreme one. When I have a headache, I automatically have a tumor or brain cancer and I'm ready to get an MRI brain scan. When my stomach hurts...hmmm maybe I have an ulcer. When it's that time of the month for me and my boobs get score and the tissue gets a little lumpy....OMG I think I have breast cancer. I really do think like that and even if I know that it's crazy, I can't help it. After my mom pointed that out to me, I figured out that I was going crazy because I was associating myself with all the disorders that were described in the textbook. I would panic because I thought maybe I have that and I needed to be put on drugs to correct my chemical imbalance in my brain...see, I really can't stop....It's so bad that I'm going to see a therapist about it...but at least I recognize that I have a problem...that's the first step to recovery right? After putting down my psychology book and listening to my mom I feel A LOT better. Even though I still kind of have panic attacks when I think about it it's not as bad as when I was reading the book and worrying myself to death...and I mean that literally. The only problem is that if I'm scared to read the book....how am I going to pass the class!! I'm going to bring it up with my therapist (LOL I said my therapist) and see if he can help me because if I have to read that book again I think I'm going to go crazy. I was also thinking about getting a study buddy and studying the material together...so I won't have to go crazy alone....(there's this girl in my Japanese class that's also in the psychology class I'm taking) so maybe I can ask her for help)=
Well when I first started the psychology class I was ok you know, but it was only when I saw this movie in class called "Donnie Darko" or something like that, that I started to freak out. I can't stomach religious or paranormal stuff, it freaks me out and I constantly think about it if I'm exposed to it. That's why I can't watch movies like the exorcist or anything that has to do with ghost or religion or anything! it just freaks me out...so yeah I think that's what started it for me...that movie...now I can't even stomach being in the class ( even though I don't know how that is associated together, my mind just works in mysterious ways.
Well when I first started the psychology class I was ok you know, but it was only when I saw this movie in class called "Donnie Darko" or something like that, that I started to freak out. I can't stomach religious or paranormal stuff, it freaks me out and I constantly think about it if I'm exposed to it. That's why I can't watch movies like the exorcist or anything that has to do with ghost or religion or anything! it just freaks me out...so yeah I think that's what started it for me...that movie...now I can't even stomach being in the class ( even though I don't know how that is associated together, my mind just works in mysterious ways.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Being Organic...kind of
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| Two years after cutting my hair |
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| 4 months after cutting my hair |
My target hair length is....that place where your bra ends on your side...I guess torso length? and that length is when my hair is straightened....lord only knows how long that would be if it was shrunk and natural!
OK! Now let's talk about skin. The end of my middle school and all of my high school career, I have had really bad acne. I was just looking at my prom pictures the other day and my acne was pretty bad!! I think it all started around the time I first got my period...but yeah after graduating from high school and going on to college, I was really determined to get my skin together!!! I have really really REALLY oily skin (it's not so oily now as back then..but it's pretty oily) At first, I tried clean and clear acne treatment and at first it did show signs that it was working but continuing it...my face really dried out and made things worse so that wasn't for me. Then my mom's friend recommended that I try Proactiv and that did work for me for a while...my skin did clear up when I was using it but after a while, I just felt that it wasn't working anymore. Maybe my face got immune to it or what I have no idea but after a year or so of using it, my face relapsed and I returned to my acne pron self again. So when I transferred to Georgetown, I was really determined to make my face clear!!!! One day when I was eating in the cafeteria....alone (T^T yes being the new girl in a school sucks because you have no friends) I called my sister and she was with her friend riding in a car somewhere....anyway that's not important! The important thing is that her friend recommended skin ID to me. At first I thought that it would be just like proactiv and only work for a little bit, but he was pretty certain about it, so I gave it a try. At first, it worked pretty well! I was amazed at the results but then continuing to use it, my face was getting really dry. I liked the way the cleanser and the acne treatment worked on my face, but the toner was just too strong and would dry out my face immediately after I put it on. So, I decided to look for another toner. At first I used a local store brand but that didn't work because it was..maybe even stronger than the skin id one..(plus it has alcohol in it that REALLY dried out my face) Then I remembered the proactiv toner, it was mild and I liked the way in felt on my face when I used it so I went back to that toner and mixed it with the skin ID cleanser and acne treatment and that's what I use today! It really worked for my skin and gave me that balance that I needed.
However, the one thing that I think helped out the most...even though you couldn't see it right away is going natural with my hair and not continuing with perming. All those chemicals in perms and putting that in my hair every two weeks I think really did a number on my face. Although I had been getting perms since I was really young (like 6 or 7) after I started to hit puberty and I got my period, all those hormones already started to take a toll on my face and then mixed with the chemicals from perms I'm just thinking that maybe after quitting with the perms and chemicals, my face had a chance to re-balance itself. It's just a theory and I'm not sure about it but I just have a strong sense that, that was one of the causes of my acne.
Also I have to mention that all these products I've mentioned alone doesn't grow your hair and make your face clean! You have to always pair these products with lifestyle changes to see results. Since I've been on this journey, I've changed my eating habits to eat healthier (I basically drink water and RARELY drink soda for example) I wash my hair on a regular basis that is consistent with my hair regimen and...yeah basically take care of myself! That paired with the right products can make amazing results for anyone!
Anyway, for all those on a hair growth journey or looking to clear up there skin, don't give up hope and be consistent! thanks for reading ^ ^
Monday, May 30, 2011
Is Ignorance in Japanese Bureaucracy to blame...
- Hey Everyone, I've decided to merge my study abroad blog with this one so the following maybe 5-6 post will be about my time in Japan. Thanks for reading
A few days ago I was talking to my friend living in Fukushima on skype and I was telling him about how I thought no one could be to blame for the nuclear reactors and radiation going on in Japan right now...but my friend then sent me this article and it made me immediately want to take back my words.. the article's in Japanese so I did my best to translate it >_< (sorry if some parts are uncertain or weird T^T)
A few days ago I was talking to my friend living in Fukushima on skype and I was telling him about how I thought no one could be to blame for the nuclear reactors and radiation going on in Japan right now...but my friend then sent me this article and it made me immediately want to take back my words.. the article's in Japanese so I did my best to translate it >_< (sorry if some parts are uncertain or weird T^T)
大津波再来の恐れ、09年に指摘＝東電、津波想定に反映せず―審議会で
時事通信 3月27日(日)17時57分配信想定を大幅に上回る津波に襲われた東京電力福島第1原発について、津波の専門家が2009年、原発の耐震安全性を検討する経済産業省の審議会の席上、東北地方に大津波をもたらした869年の「貞観地震」（マグニチュード8．4と推定）に触れ、同規模以上の津波再来の可能性について指摘していたことが27日、分かった。東電側は「歴史上の地震で、耐震設計上考慮する地震にならない」と述べ、指摘は反映されなかった。
指摘したのは、産業技術総合研究所の岡村行信活断層研究センター長（地質学）。岡村さんは、史料に津波被害の記録が残る貞観地震について研究。福島第1、第2原発の敷地付近を含め、内陸部に津波で運ばれた砂が堆積していることや、450～800年周期で津波が起きたことなどを明らかにしてきた。
岡村さんは、09年6月に開かれた経産省の審議会で、福島原発について貞観地震の知見から「津波に関しては（東電の想定する地震と）比べものにならない非常にでかいものがくる」と指摘。「まったく触れられていないのはおかしい」と再検討を求めた。しかし、東電側は「被害がそれほど見当たらない。歴史上の地震であり、研究では課題として捉えるべきだが、設計上考慮する地震にならない」と答え、消極的な姿勢を示した。
翌7月の審議会でも、岡村さんは04年のスマトラ沖地震などに触れ、今回の地震のように複数の震源域が同時に動く連動型地震の危険性を指摘したが、東電側は「引き続き検討を進める」と述べるにとどまった。
岡村さんは、09年6月に開かれた経産省の審議会で、福島原発について貞観地震の知見から「津波に関しては（東電の想定する地震と）比べものにならない非常にでかいものがくる」と指摘。「まったく触れられていないのはおかしい」と再検討を求めた。しかし、東電側は「被害がそれほど見当たらない。歴史上の地震であり、研究では課題として捉えるべきだが、設計上考慮する地震にならない」と答え、消極的な姿勢を示した。
翌7月の審議会でも、岡村さんは04年のスマトラ沖地震などに触れ、今回の地震のように複数の震源域が同時に動く連動型地震の危険性を指摘したが、東電側は「引き続き検討を進める」と述べるにとどまった。
Fear of a reoccurring big tsunami, Pointed out in 2009=TEPCO, Tsunami assumptions aren't recognized- At the inquiry commission council meeting
The first Nuclear power plant in Fukushima was said to have been hit substantially more than expected by the 2011 Tsunami. However, tsunami experts in 2009 at the inquiry commission meeting ask for a re-evaluation for the seismic safety of the Nuclear power plants. In Japan's north eastern region (around the year 869?) a tsunami with an estimated magnitude of 8.4 touched Japan with expectations that another one with the same magnitude could possibly come. This possibility was pointed out on the 27th of April. TEPCO stated that according to historical files recorded from past earthquakes, the Earthquake resistance design should have been but wasn't taken into consideration and the design flaws pointed out weren't reflected in the design of the nuclear power plants. The design flaws were pointed out by AIST's Okamura Yukinobu at the Active Fault Research center (Geology department) The following is about Okamura's remaining research on a previous Earthquake and tsunami's damage recordings. Fukushima's first nuclear power plant, as well as areas around the second nuclear plant have deposits of sand carried inland by a previous tsunami which reveals that a tsunami comes every (450-800 years?...has a year cycle of 450-800 years?) In the METI inquiry commission meeting held in June 2009, Okamura stated that from the findings that the previous Earthquake had on Fukushima's nuclear plant and (from TEPCO's assumptions?) “There’s going to be a big one coming that compares to no other."
"It's quite strange that there was no mention or actions done" replied the re-examination board (review board?) However, TEPCO passively answered "The damage didn't seem like it was going to be that great. From other historical recorded files on past earthquakes (as a theme) we should have caught sight of it's potential damage but (we didn't take into consideration the seismic safety of the nuclear plants' design?) In next July's council meeting as well, Okamura commented on the 2004 Sumatra earthquake, pointing out that the danger of this Earthquake, as others in the past, have multiple factors which are linked together in the same way. However, TEPCO only continues to state "we will continue further evaluation."
Things you might need to know:
TEPCO- Tokyo’s electric power company
METI- Japan's Ministry of Economy Trade and Industry
AIST- Association for Iron and Steel Technology
(Here's the link to the actual article: http://headlines.yahoo.co.jp/hl?a=20110327-00000062-jij-soci)
地震！Earthquake!
Living in Japan has had its scary moments but yesterday I have to say was the SCARIEST experience I've had here. So it's Friday right, and I usually go to my dance class in shinjuku at 2:40. That day I got up around the time I usually do and went to shinjuku a little early so I went and bought these shoes that I had been eyeing since my mom came to Japan (Yeah, my mom came to Japan...and that was a very interesting experience..) so yeah, I bought my shoes and then went to Don Quixote ドン キホーテ and looked around to kill some time before my dance class...besides I love ドン キホーテ because they have everything!! So I saw this really cute bra and panty set and bought that, then headed to my dance class. I warmed up and then the teacher Kento san came and we started stretching...but as soon as we did the ground starts to shake and I thought at first someone above us was making a lot of noise or something but then after thinking about it...the dance class is on the 17th floor, the top floor and there's no one above us! That's when it really got bad and pictures started to drop off the walls and even the speaker came down! Everyone was in panic and I was probably the one panicking the most because I had never experienced this before and being on the top floor of a building really didn't help the situation a lot! But I really have to say that my dance teacher Kento san was really a leader in this situation! He was so cool and I'm really grateful to him for being there during that experience!
After the tremors calmed down a bit all the students in the building evacuated to a nearby park and there we waited for some kind of news on what to do. Everyone was really worried because the trains had stopped and a lot of people probably couldn't get home without the trains running! After waiting for around 30 min, it started to get cold and rainy so everyone in the dance school decided to go back inside since the tremors weren't as bad as before. After around an hour or so, the trains still weren't running and everyone was really starting to get worried about how to get home....especially me!!!
At first, I was with two other girls from my dance class and we decided to all take a taxi together....but that was IMPOSSIBLE. Traffic was horrible and everyone wanted to get home by any means so even the taxi line was crowed! After realizing we weren't going to be able to get a taxi that day, we decided to try to catch the bus but since the other two girls from my dance class lived in a different direction then I did, we had to split ways at the bus station and I became alone. The bus that would have taken me to the closest station to my dorm was FULL of people lined up and the last bus for that station was at around 10 I think… so it was impossible to be able to catch that bus, so I decided I would catch the bus going to nakano and from nakano, catch a taxi to the mitaka station and ride my bike home from there.
However the bus line even for Nakano was crowed as hell and there was so many people; folks were just lining up not knowing what bus they were lining up for. Everyone kept asking me and other people "What is this bus line for?" and I would just have to shrug my shoulders and tell them I didn't know because I really didn't! It was impossible to know with so many people there! I waited in that bus line for a good two hours before coming even half way close to the front and the time was around 11 at night. To make it even worse, the buses stopped running at 12 and just like planned the buses would stop running regardless of the earthquake situation! Even though people knew this, they were still lining up for the bus and looking back the line wrapped around the bus station. Waiting for the bus the line next to my line's bus came and...I guess he was the person directing the buses and giving people information was screaming "THIS BUS DOESN"T GO TO MITAKA!!" he was saying it in Japanese but even I understood and then this one guy comes up to him and asks " Can this bus go to Mitaka?" the guy's face was so funny as he said "NO! It doesn't go to Mitaka" and the guy that asked this said "本当にだめですか" Which is saying like "It really can't?" and when the guy said that he's face was soooooooo desperate!!!
After that, I was really starting to panic because it was cold and I was realizing that I probably wouldn't be able to go home that night! The cold was just too much to bear so I got out of the bus line and went back to the taxi line and tried to wait for a taxi but it was really impossible and I was hungry and cold and tired..I just wanted to go to sleep at this point so I got out of the taxi line and went to this convenience store across the street and when I walk in, there's barely nothing left on the shelves so I just bought some Pringles chips and some chicken and made my way to the train station to see what the situation was there. I knew the trains wouldn't be running but at least I could get out of the cold for a little bit. At the station people were laying down on news papers on the floor, kneeling, eating cup noodles but the most stunning thing was just how many people were at the station sitting on the floor on newspapers waiting to go home. I just couldn't believe it! It was really like a refugee camp or something! After walking around, I joined everybody and sat on the ground thinking about what I should do! At this point I didn't start crying because I knew if I got upset I wouldn't be able to do anything so I just had to calm down and think of something. I remembered that before I went on my trip to Korea for the winter break, I saved this emergency contact in my phone that my exchange university ICU had e-mailed to me, so I called the number and asked the lady how I could get home!
She told me that I wouldn't be able to get home tonight and that I should find somewhere to stay overnight....but I really had no idea where to go so she said she would call me back and let me know where I could go. After about 5 min she called me back and said that I could stay at this high school that was close to the South exit of the Shinjuku station. However, she always said that the details to where the high school was located, was difficult to explain over the phone so I had to ask around and find it for myself. So I gathered my things and made my way for the south exit. There I asked this lady "新宿高校はどこかと知ってますか" but she didn't know and so I asked this one old man working for the train station I guess and he said he had heard of it but didn't know exactly where it was. He advised me to go to the KOBAN and ask.....so I went there but even the police officer that was supposed to be there wasn't even there!!! Distraught I walked into a 7eleven and tried to ask the person working there and luckily he knew where it was! I found the high school and stayed there until morning.
At around 7:30 the high school starting kicking people out...and I think gave an announcement saying that the trains would start running at 7:00 that night.... so I got my stuff together again and left. I really didn't feel like staying in Shinjuku until the trains started to run again so I went back to the taxi waiting place again at 8 in the morning and there was barley any people waiting for a taxi so I thought I had a chance to catch one. The first one that came let out this guy and I asked the driver if he could take me to the mitaka station and he told me "Ah, I don't really know how to get to mitaka so please take another taxi" I couldn't believe he told me this!! I really felt like saying "What the fuck is your problem! You’re a taxi driver aren't you!! You're supposed to know where a place 30 min away is and besides you have a fucking GPS system! Use that bitch!".....but I didn't know how to say that in Japanese so I didn't say anything....more and more waiting until finally this one cab comes and let's out this old lady and just as I walk up, this one lady cuts me off and tries to take my cab! Right now my feeling is "oh fuck no lady, get the hell up out of my cab and get in line!" so just as she's cutting in front of me, this foreign guy comes up to her and asks her where she's going and when she's answering him I move them aside and ask the driver to take me to Mitaka and close the door behind me! I know it was a bitch move but that lady was wrong and she knew it! and then after closing the door the lady says to the cab driver "oh, i want to make a reservation" and the cab driver just looks at her and says "Well you can try at the hotel over there, but considering the situation right now I don't think it's possible" I just looked at her and wanted to say soooooo bad " Lady! There is no reservation! you get your ass in that line and wait like everyone else! Your’re no different than all those people wanting to get home!" but again I couldn't form the Japanese in my mind at that moment so I kept my mouth shut.....In the taxi I finally calmed down and collected myself and then arriving at the Mitaka station I knew the cab was going to cost a fortune! Which happened to be 4990 yen! I know that cab driver was getting over but I was willing to pay any price to get home.
After arriving at Mitaka I got my bike which was parked at the Mitaka station (and even the parking garage got over charging people 500 yen to get their bikes!!) I was riding home and finally got there!!!! When I got home, the first thing I did was pee because I really had to go bad lol but then I called my family because they were really really worried about me when they didn't hear from me in 24 hours after hearing about the earthquake. When I skyped with my mom lol she looked horrible! her hair was a mess and she really looked like Frankenstein’s wife or something but yeah after talking to my family and letting everyone know I was ok I really realized how much I was loved and how much people really care about me! Realizing this I had to just start crying because the love was just too great, I tried to not cry when I was talking to my friend in Korea but I know she probably could tell I was.
After the tremors calmed down a bit all the students in the building evacuated to a nearby park and there we waited for some kind of news on what to do. Everyone was really worried because the trains had stopped and a lot of people probably couldn't get home without the trains running! After waiting for around 30 min, it started to get cold and rainy so everyone in the dance school decided to go back inside since the tremors weren't as bad as before. After around an hour or so, the trains still weren't running and everyone was really starting to get worried about how to get home....especially me!!!
At first, I was with two other girls from my dance class and we decided to all take a taxi together....but that was IMPOSSIBLE. Traffic was horrible and everyone wanted to get home by any means so even the taxi line was crowed! After realizing we weren't going to be able to get a taxi that day, we decided to try to catch the bus but since the other two girls from my dance class lived in a different direction then I did, we had to split ways at the bus station and I became alone. The bus that would have taken me to the closest station to my dorm was FULL of people lined up and the last bus for that station was at around 10 I think… so it was impossible to be able to catch that bus, so I decided I would catch the bus going to nakano and from nakano, catch a taxi to the mitaka station and ride my bike home from there.
However the bus line even for Nakano was crowed as hell and there was so many people; folks were just lining up not knowing what bus they were lining up for. Everyone kept asking me and other people "What is this bus line for?" and I would just have to shrug my shoulders and tell them I didn't know because I really didn't! It was impossible to know with so many people there! I waited in that bus line for a good two hours before coming even half way close to the front and the time was around 11 at night. To make it even worse, the buses stopped running at 12 and just like planned the buses would stop running regardless of the earthquake situation! Even though people knew this, they were still lining up for the bus and looking back the line wrapped around the bus station. Waiting for the bus the line next to my line's bus came and...I guess he was the person directing the buses and giving people information was screaming "THIS BUS DOESN"T GO TO MITAKA!!" he was saying it in Japanese but even I understood and then this one guy comes up to him and asks " Can this bus go to Mitaka?" the guy's face was so funny as he said "NO! It doesn't go to Mitaka" and the guy that asked this said "本当にだめですか" Which is saying like "It really can't?" and when the guy said that he's face was soooooooo desperate!!!
After that, I was really starting to panic because it was cold and I was realizing that I probably wouldn't be able to go home that night! The cold was just too much to bear so I got out of the bus line and went back to the taxi line and tried to wait for a taxi but it was really impossible and I was hungry and cold and tired..I just wanted to go to sleep at this point so I got out of the taxi line and went to this convenience store across the street and when I walk in, there's barely nothing left on the shelves so I just bought some Pringles chips and some chicken and made my way to the train station to see what the situation was there. I knew the trains wouldn't be running but at least I could get out of the cold for a little bit. At the station people were laying down on news papers on the floor, kneeling, eating cup noodles but the most stunning thing was just how many people were at the station sitting on the floor on newspapers waiting to go home. I just couldn't believe it! It was really like a refugee camp or something! After walking around, I joined everybody and sat on the ground thinking about what I should do! At this point I didn't start crying because I knew if I got upset I wouldn't be able to do anything so I just had to calm down and think of something. I remembered that before I went on my trip to Korea for the winter break, I saved this emergency contact in my phone that my exchange university ICU had e-mailed to me, so I called the number and asked the lady how I could get home!
She told me that I wouldn't be able to get home tonight and that I should find somewhere to stay overnight....but I really had no idea where to go so she said she would call me back and let me know where I could go. After about 5 min she called me back and said that I could stay at this high school that was close to the South exit of the Shinjuku station. However, she always said that the details to where the high school was located, was difficult to explain over the phone so I had to ask around and find it for myself. So I gathered my things and made my way for the south exit. There I asked this lady "新宿高校はどこかと知ってますか" but she didn't know and so I asked this one old man working for the train station I guess and he said he had heard of it but didn't know exactly where it was. He advised me to go to the KOBAN and ask.....so I went there but even the police officer that was supposed to be there wasn't even there!!! Distraught I walked into a 7eleven and tried to ask the person working there and luckily he knew where it was! I found the high school and stayed there until morning.
At around 7:30 the high school starting kicking people out...and I think gave an announcement saying that the trains would start running at 7:00 that night.... so I got my stuff together again and left. I really didn't feel like staying in Shinjuku until the trains started to run again so I went back to the taxi waiting place again at 8 in the morning and there was barley any people waiting for a taxi so I thought I had a chance to catch one. The first one that came let out this guy and I asked the driver if he could take me to the mitaka station and he told me "Ah, I don't really know how to get to mitaka so please take another taxi" I couldn't believe he told me this!! I really felt like saying "What the fuck is your problem! You’re a taxi driver aren't you!! You're supposed to know where a place 30 min away is and besides you have a fucking GPS system! Use that bitch!".....but I didn't know how to say that in Japanese so I didn't say anything....more and more waiting until finally this one cab comes and let's out this old lady and just as I walk up, this one lady cuts me off and tries to take my cab! Right now my feeling is "oh fuck no lady, get the hell up out of my cab and get in line!" so just as she's cutting in front of me, this foreign guy comes up to her and asks her where she's going and when she's answering him I move them aside and ask the driver to take me to Mitaka and close the door behind me! I know it was a bitch move but that lady was wrong and she knew it! and then after closing the door the lady says to the cab driver "oh, i want to make a reservation" and the cab driver just looks at her and says "Well you can try at the hotel over there, but considering the situation right now I don't think it's possible" I just looked at her and wanted to say soooooo bad " Lady! There is no reservation! you get your ass in that line and wait like everyone else! Your’re no different than all those people wanting to get home!" but again I couldn't form the Japanese in my mind at that moment so I kept my mouth shut.....In the taxi I finally calmed down and collected myself and then arriving at the Mitaka station I knew the cab was going to cost a fortune! Which happened to be 4990 yen! I know that cab driver was getting over but I was willing to pay any price to get home.
After arriving at Mitaka I got my bike which was parked at the Mitaka station (and even the parking garage got over charging people 500 yen to get their bikes!!) I was riding home and finally got there!!!! When I got home, the first thing I did was pee because I really had to go bad lol but then I called my family because they were really really worried about me when they didn't hear from me in 24 hours after hearing about the earthquake. When I skyped with my mom lol she looked horrible! her hair was a mess and she really looked like Frankenstein’s wife or something but yeah after talking to my family and letting everyone know I was ok I really realized how much I was loved and how much people really care about me! Realizing this I had to just start crying because the love was just too great, I tried to not cry when I was talking to my friend in Korea but I know she probably could tell I was.
Tokyo Imperial Palace...皇居
So today I went to the Tokyo Imperial Palace with some of the other foreign girls in my dorm. It was pretty fun but we only could walk on the outside (I really wanted to go in and see the inside though T^T) but anyway, the scenery was so pretty! After we walked around the palace, we went to find somewhere to eat. We walked around a little bit and decided to eat Korean food! (It was a choice between this Korean restaurant and First Kitchen..this food chain establishment in Japan, that some Japanese call ファーキッン which I just learned today when my friend asked me "Hey do you want to eat at Fakkin?" Me: ".....what the hell did you just say?" friend:"You know Fakkin...First Kitchen" me: "OH, so that's what you call it......let's stop calling it that, it sounds like your swearing at me LOL" but yeah, we didn't go to ファーキッン LOL and decided to go to this Korean restaurant where I ate my favorite Korean food!!!!!!~된장찌개 (テンッジャンチゲ...even though this restaurant put natto in it and I realllllllly don't like natto, but when I was eating it I couldn't really taste it so it wasn't so bad) I've had a cold since last Friday and after eating this, for the first time in 4 days I could breathe through my nose again LOL!!!! I think 된장찌개 might be my herbal medicine when I'm sick LOL whenever I get sick I should just eat it!! After we ate I slept all the way back home on the train.....even though I don't know why I was so tired!
oh! and yesterday, I talked to my friend I met on the interent for the first time on skype! He seems really nice and I can't wait to meet him in Japan! (thanks for talking with my yesterday and thanks for reading my blog))
oh! and yesterday, I talked to my friend I met on the interent for the first time on skype! He seems really nice and I can't wait to meet him in Japan! (thanks for talking with my yesterday and thanks for reading my blog))
病気です
Well, I've been sick again since Friday, so this time I actually went a bought a mask to wear out in public to hide my germs from everyone (the good old Japanese way right lol) But anyway, on Saturday, me and some of the other people in my dorm went to see the Tokyo tower and we had to past through Ginza to get there. Ginza is one of the cleanest places I've seen in Japan.....even though most of the cities are really clean in Japan if you compare it to America. But one of the things I can't stand is how much everybody smokes! And then they allow people to smoke in restaurants and stuff and I just can't stand the smell. That's one of the things I really hate about Japan is how much everyone smokes here.
Anyway, yeah, Ginza is really clean and since I went during the night, the city was all lit up and pretty! It's like a clean version of New York or something lol! At Tokyo tower, we first went up to the normal level watch tower and it was pretty cool! You could even see Yokohama from the Tower! (However, I was kind of disappointed because when I went to Korea and went to their observatory, they had these machine binocular things that allowed you to look even closer to the city....it would have been nice if the Tokyo tower had that) By the time we finished looking at that level, we wanted to go to the first level (or the special observatory that cost 400 yen extra to go in) but it was really late and as soon as we went to the ticket booth they were closing, lol so the Japanese girl that we were with (her name's Chika) lied and said this was out last night in Japan and we really wanted to see all of Tokyo and we were looking forward to this all day and what not, so they made an exception for us lol!!!! (Good job chika lol!!!) In the special observatory, we could see a lot farther away and I got some cool pictures.....what was really awkward though was that in the special observatory, most of the people there were couples lol so it was kind of weird lol!!!
Anyway, yeah, Ginza is really clean and since I went during the night, the city was all lit up and pretty! It's like a clean version of New York or something lol! At Tokyo tower, we first went up to the normal level watch tower and it was pretty cool! You could even see Yokohama from the Tower! (However, I was kind of disappointed because when I went to Korea and went to their observatory, they had these machine binocular things that allowed you to look even closer to the city....it would have been nice if the Tokyo tower had that) By the time we finished looking at that level, we wanted to go to the first level (or the special observatory that cost 400 yen extra to go in) but it was really late and as soon as we went to the ticket booth they were closing, lol so the Japanese girl that we were with (her name's Chika) lied and said this was out last night in Japan and we really wanted to see all of Tokyo and we were looking forward to this all day and what not, so they made an exception for us lol!!!! (Good job chika lol!!!) In the special observatory, we could see a lot farther away and I got some cool pictures.....what was really awkward though was that in the special observatory, most of the people there were couples lol so it was kind of weird lol!!!
On a side note
Being in Japan, I haven't really had a chance to talk about some of the things that I faced back in America. Looking on yahoo just now and looking at this video, I was reminded of one of the things that I always talk about, and that's hair! I just went natural about one year ago and sometimes I feel that I really do miss the long chemical relaxed hair I had but it was just a pain to take care of. Looking at this video on yahoo, it talks about the struggles young black girls have to endure with their curly hair. Growing up, I was one of those girls that just wanted long straight hair that would blow in the wind but now I see that you just have to love what you got and be happy you got it. This video tells young black girls to do that and I really appreciate ABC and Sesame Street for broadcasting this video and letting some of the problems that little black girls face become public knowledge. Here's the video so have a look:
http://news.yahoo.com/video/world-15749633/sesame-street-teaches-self-esteem-22512445
http://news.yahoo.com/video/world-15749633/sesame-street-teaches-self-esteem-22512445
浅草..and other things
So on Sunday I went to Asakusa with three other girls from my dorm. Asakusa is this very traditional town and it sort of reminded me of the images I get when I think of a city like Kyoto. When we first arrived there, as always, there were a lot of people...and I mean a lot! That's one of things I'm not really use to yet, being squished all the time in a sea full of people isn't very attractive to me...maybe because I just live in America and am use to wide spaces. But anyway, after we arrived, we saw these cart things that you could ride on while someone would pull you along (I forgot the Japanese word for it) but it looked like so much fun!! One of the people that were advertising for was like "乗りますか？楽しいよ" Which is basically saying, do you want to ride it's fun. And then some of the other people were speaking the little but of English they knew saying like "How are you, please ride" LOL!! I would have gone, but I had to conserve my money for the Kaiten Sushi (Conveyor belt sushi) place that we went to! One of the girls in the dorm looked up one of the best Kaiten Sushi places in Japan and the one we went to in Asakusa was one of the best places you could eat sushi, and I have to say it was pretty good! And the people that work there were really nice too. The chief guy that was in front of us started talking to us in Japanese and asking where we were from and stuff like that LOL and then even though we didn't even ask for it, he called over one of the people working at the restaurant to take a picture for us. LOL but I felt so sorry for the guy because when he first came over, he thought we wanted a picture of him and he started posing and everything LOL!!!!! but then the chief guy was like " Not you idiot, take a picture for the girls" LOL!!! After we ate we toured around a little and went to some of the shrines and shops around the town. I even found this shop that sold Arashi stuff! So I bought some for my sister Nkenge since one of her request was for me to get a lot of Arashi stuff for her. I also went to this fortune telling shrine place where you're suppose to shake this can and get stick with a number on it. After you get the stick, you look for your number written on one of the drawers and take out your fortune. I got a regular fortune that said everything would go well..but I would have to wait for it...or something like that. I also happened o be lucky enough to see a traditional Japanese wedding. I took a video of it but if this site allows me, I'll post it. It was pretty cool....but the old guys that were doing some kind of hymn or something was kind of creepy...but it was a good experience for me.
However, before going to Asakusa, on Saturday (which was a rainy day here in Japan) me and a lot of the girls from the dorm went to this all you can eat Buffet in Shinjuku. We had to wait almost two hours to get it but when we did it was sooooo worth the wait. You were allowed to stay in the restaurant for 90 min before they kicked you out to let more people in. Everything was so good and the desserts were so cute! I had this crepe thing with vanilla ice cream and it was one of the best things I've ever had in my life LOL!! I think everyone ate a lot that day.
However, before going to Asakusa, on Saturday (which was a rainy day here in Japan) me and a lot of the girls from the dorm went to this all you can eat Buffet in Shinjuku. We had to wait almost two hours to get it but when we did it was sooooo worth the wait. You were allowed to stay in the restaurant for 90 min before they kicked you out to let more people in. Everything was so good and the desserts were so cute! I had this crepe thing with vanilla ice cream and it was one of the best things I've ever had in my life LOL!! I think everyone ate a lot that day.
築地
日本では最初の週間
So, this has been my first week in Japan and I have been really busy! With all the work I've done I still have other important stuff today so it's like the work never ends. Just trying to get used to Japan, and the rules is a hassle and then on top of that just trying to understand what everybody is saying is really tough. I also have jet lag and have been waking up at around 5:30~6:00 every day. Sometimes I wish my Japanese was good enough and I had the confidence to just go on my own and do all the stuff I need to do....but maybe I'll do that after I get a bike. In Japan EVERYONE has a bike and I think it's impossible to go anywhere without one. In America, that's one of the differences I think, everyone has a car and walking somewhere can take you at least 30min to an hour. In Japan though, everyone has a bike. The public transportation is very good but in the city I'm in, Mitaka, it's just really convenient to have a bike. Some other differences from the US I've seen are
1) Trash: The Japanese take trash very seriously and there are specific rules to throwing out trash. You have to separate paper, plastic and cardboard, burnable material and such. In America, we recycle but it's not so strict. I'm just used to throwing everything into one bin and throwing it out to get picked up the next day, so I'm still trying to get used to it
2) Bath: In America I don't know anyone that doesn't take a shower. The showers for the most part are combined with the bath but most people just use the shower. As kids, I remember taking baths but not so much anymore. In Japan in the dorm I'm staying in, where you shower is set up like the Korean 찜질방 that I went to last summer. So instead of taking a shower standing up, I do it sitting down and with other people....it might sound weird but once you get used to it, it's not so bad.
3) Rules: In Japan, the first thing I noticed when I got here is how many rules there were. There’s a specific rule for everything and it's really strict. Coming from America, there are rules but there not really strict. You follow them, and there are exceptions, it's just a really laid back country. Going to Japan, I kind of miss this aspect of my country T^T!!! I'm such a laid back person and when I went to Japan it's like "you have to do this, this way no exceptions, follow the rules"
4) Temperature: In Japan right now, I think this is the worst weather I've ever experienced. It's so humid here it feels like I'm in a sauna 24-7. Right now, for the first time in my life I'm praying for it to become winter so I won't have to take a shower 500 hundred times a day because I wake up sticky every morning. In America summers are hot but I think the heat it more intense and not humid...so I guess the sun is stronger there than in Japan, but this tropical climate in Japan makes me feel like I'm in a rain forest or something and the slightest breeze is like a gift from the gods or something LOL
5) The exchange rate: America's economy is in the shit right now. I realized that when I came here. When I first exchanged my money in Japan I got ¥33288 which is around $330 if the exchange rate was even, from $400 that I gave them. I feel like I'm getting ripped off every time I go and exchange my money! I really hope America gets its act together because I'm suffering over here!!!
Well I can say one of the hardest things for me being here this week has been the language. I'm really trying hard to study and learn but every time I do that something new always pops up. However, I think speaking everyday in Japanese even though my structure is wrong is still good practice. Everyone in the dorm says I'm really good at Japanese but I think it's just because I don't have an accent like other 外人's but most of the time I'm struggling to understand what everyone is saying. Today, I went to this church service that was mandatory to attend for new students. When I walked in, they gave us these head sets that was connected to someone that translated the sermon. I was really inspired by this and I think that's what I ultimately want to do when my Japanese gets good enough.
1) Trash: The Japanese take trash very seriously and there are specific rules to throwing out trash. You have to separate paper, plastic and cardboard, burnable material and such. In America, we recycle but it's not so strict. I'm just used to throwing everything into one bin and throwing it out to get picked up the next day, so I'm still trying to get used to it
2) Bath: In America I don't know anyone that doesn't take a shower. The showers for the most part are combined with the bath but most people just use the shower. As kids, I remember taking baths but not so much anymore. In Japan in the dorm I'm staying in, where you shower is set up like the Korean 찜질방 that I went to last summer. So instead of taking a shower standing up, I do it sitting down and with other people....it might sound weird but once you get used to it, it's not so bad.
3) Rules: In Japan, the first thing I noticed when I got here is how many rules there were. There’s a specific rule for everything and it's really strict. Coming from America, there are rules but there not really strict. You follow them, and there are exceptions, it's just a really laid back country. Going to Japan, I kind of miss this aspect of my country T^T!!! I'm such a laid back person and when I went to Japan it's like "you have to do this, this way no exceptions, follow the rules"
4) Temperature: In Japan right now, I think this is the worst weather I've ever experienced. It's so humid here it feels like I'm in a sauna 24-7. Right now, for the first time in my life I'm praying for it to become winter so I won't have to take a shower 500 hundred times a day because I wake up sticky every morning. In America summers are hot but I think the heat it more intense and not humid...so I guess the sun is stronger there than in Japan, but this tropical climate in Japan makes me feel like I'm in a rain forest or something and the slightest breeze is like a gift from the gods or something LOL
5) The exchange rate: America's economy is in the shit right now. I realized that when I came here. When I first exchanged my money in Japan I got ¥33288 which is around $330 if the exchange rate was even, from $400 that I gave them. I feel like I'm getting ripped off every time I go and exchange my money! I really hope America gets its act together because I'm suffering over here!!!
Well I can say one of the hardest things for me being here this week has been the language. I'm really trying hard to study and learn but every time I do that something new always pops up. However, I think speaking everyday in Japanese even though my structure is wrong is still good practice. Everyone in the dorm says I'm really good at Japanese but I think it's just because I don't have an accent like other 外人's but most of the time I'm struggling to understand what everyone is saying. Today, I went to this church service that was mandatory to attend for new students. When I walked in, they gave us these head sets that was connected to someone that translated the sermon. I was really inspired by this and I think that's what I ultimately want to do when my Japanese gets good enough.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Saving a little to gain a little
OK! So my last post was about how the American higher educational system just makes in nearly impossible to students to get an undergraduate degree...but I forgot that being an almost graduate myself from this system, I've saved a little money in some ways that could probably help future undergraduate students as well. So here's a list of things that could possibly help:
1) Government Aid
1) Government Aid
If you're like me and you're family places into the middle class, you're doomed to be told that you're family makes too much money to be given a whole lot of financial aid. Sometimes I just want to go up and say to these people "My dad complains when I ask him for $20...how is that considered making too much for aid?" But unfortunately, that's the way it is so...just fill out your FASA form like a good little student and see what you're school offers you. Most of the time, schools offer partial scholarships for good grades so that helps a little but BEFORE you decide to take out any independent loans, wait until you see what federal aid you can get, including federal grants and loans (because these loans often have lower interest rates than private ones..and federal subsidized loans don't have any interest..I think..so take advantage!) If you have a good financial aid adviser at your school, they should tell you how much your family is excepted to contribute to your educational cost.
Now, scholarships other than what your school gives are great but hard to come by...I haven't seen one since I've been in school...but if you can get your hands on one then great! The motto with those types of scholarships are "Fill out a lot and be persistent" so if you have the time, then do it! It can't hurt to do it anyway, plus the questions that they ask really get you thinking why you want to go to school and what you want to do in school, which is good! Because goal oriented people make it further in life (....maybe you've already heard that one before...)
2) Work study.
Now, scholarships other than what your school gives are great but hard to come by...I haven't seen one since I've been in school...but if you can get your hands on one then great! The motto with those types of scholarships are "Fill out a lot and be persistent" so if you have the time, then do it! It can't hurt to do it anyway, plus the questions that they ask really get you thinking why you want to go to school and what you want to do in school, which is good! Because goal oriented people make it further in life (....maybe you've already heard that one before...)
2) Work study.
It's a really good way to earn work experience and also pay for little expenses like...DAILY LIVING. Once you find a way to pay for tuition, room and board and if you are a lousy cook like me, a meal plan....you'll be completely broke (and they say you're family earns too much money..yeah rollin' in the big bucks..) Find a little job on campus that you can work at for maybe 2-3 hours a day. For me, I worked at the library and it was a pretty good setting...plus the little bit of money that you get from these jobs really add up..so think about doing that.
3) Text Books
3) Text Books
...now this is a lesson I learned my first year of college...NEVER sell your books back to your school. Unless you want to feel like you've just been raped and slapped in the face. The first time I sold my textbooks back to my school...they gave me $5.25 for all my books, yes you read that right and I paid almost $120-130 for them. Your school will come up with some lame excuse like, these books are out of edition or out of date and can only be bought back at this price and some other bull shit of an excuse...so yeah never do that.
Instead, go online and try to sell your books, you can at least get most of your money back for them. Sites like amazon, textbookx. com are good sites where you can sell your textbooks for decent prices....
Now, for buying textbooks...before you even think about BUYING these things, look to see if you can't borrow them from your school library...that's why it's there, to borrow books! Most students don't take advantage of all the cool things that there libraries can do for them...like if your school library doesn't have that book you need they can go to another library and borrow the book you need for that Philosophy class instead of shelling out $21.50 for it. Take advantage of your library people~(words from a girl that spent 3 years of her life working at Lauinger Library..go hoyas LOL)
Now if the library thing doesn't work out for you and someone else beat you to the book (in that case you can call them an asshole and curse their mothers LOL I'm just joking I've never done that before *shifty eyes*) Then, try and find them online for a relatively cheap price. Sites previously mentioned such as Amazon and TextBookz are pretty good places for finding good deals.
Now if all else fails, going to your school book store should be a LAST and I mean LAST resort. Your school already gets enough money out of you already so don't fuel them even more by going to the book store and spending over $500 dollars on a chemistry book that you could have gotten online for $400 dollars less. It's just a rip off...ok! I just remembered a funny story! When I had just transferred to Georgetown and all the new transfers and new students were taking a tour around DC I was walking with a group of students and this one guy was like "Man, I just dropped $1000 dollars on A textbook at the bookstore" Hearing that I almost tripped and fell. Is this guy FOR REAL! Did he really just come out of his mouth with that....does he know that..that kind of money could sustain me for the whole year...maybe even two and I wouldn't have to beg my dad for $20 just to make it through the week! I just looked at him like he was crazy...because he obviously had to be to spend that kind of money on one book...even Oprah wouldn't spend that much money on one book....
4) Private Loans.
Instead, go online and try to sell your books, you can at least get most of your money back for them. Sites like amazon, textbookx. com are good sites where you can sell your textbooks for decent prices....
Now, for buying textbooks...before you even think about BUYING these things, look to see if you can't borrow them from your school library...that's why it's there, to borrow books! Most students don't take advantage of all the cool things that there libraries can do for them...like if your school library doesn't have that book you need they can go to another library and borrow the book you need for that Philosophy class instead of shelling out $21.50 for it. Take advantage of your library people~(words from a girl that spent 3 years of her life working at Lauinger Library..go hoyas LOL)
Now if the library thing doesn't work out for you and someone else beat you to the book (in that case you can call them an asshole and curse their mothers LOL I'm just joking I've never done that before *shifty eyes*) Then, try and find them online for a relatively cheap price. Sites previously mentioned such as Amazon and TextBookz are pretty good places for finding good deals.
Now if all else fails, going to your school book store should be a LAST and I mean LAST resort. Your school already gets enough money out of you already so don't fuel them even more by going to the book store and spending over $500 dollars on a chemistry book that you could have gotten online for $400 dollars less. It's just a rip off...ok! I just remembered a funny story! When I had just transferred to Georgetown and all the new transfers and new students were taking a tour around DC I was walking with a group of students and this one guy was like "Man, I just dropped $1000 dollars on A textbook at the bookstore" Hearing that I almost tripped and fell. Is this guy FOR REAL! Did he really just come out of his mouth with that....does he know that..that kind of money could sustain me for the whole year...maybe even two and I wouldn't have to beg my dad for $20 just to make it through the week! I just looked at him like he was crazy...because he obviously had to be to spend that kind of money on one book...even Oprah wouldn't spend that much money on one book....
4) Private Loans.
Now this is what got me into trouble, but just couldn't be helped T^T After graduation..I'm probably looking at a 60000-70000 dollar debt...yay me! So, if your like me and you have to take out loans to cover the rest of the cost for school, here are some things to keep in mind.
- make sure you verify the interest rate. A low interest rate will save you money because, if your anything like me, you don't have the money to pay for your loans now, so having a low interest rate that won't break you when you get out of school in 4 years is ideal.
- If you have a loving and kick ass dad like mine, you're parents can try and pay off some of the interest that you create while in school. It's good to have family backing because that makes the process a little more maybe comforting. Just the feeling of knowing that you have your parents to lean back on if something goes wrong is a blessing that not many people have, so use it to your advantage!
-go with loans that need to be school verified, because these loans often have lower interest rates and your school will make sure that you only take out the amount that you need and nothing more! This will save you money!
- and lastly, don't be so down on yourself if you have debt after graduation! Most American graduates do and are still paying it off in their 40-50s It's just the way of this crazy ass system and you just like the millions of others have to take out loans to get by and try to make it. Don't feel overwhelmed by the cost either because most educational loan services will work with you to try and pay off your student loans. Also think about consolidation to try and get a lower interest rate and...just relax! You're on the same boat as millions of American graduates for undergraduate and graduate studies.
Well that's all the tips I have for now, and remember getting a higher education is an investment..a costly one but one with lucrative benefits..even though you might not feel that way in the beginning... because I know I don't feel that way now T^T
- make sure you verify the interest rate. A low interest rate will save you money because, if your anything like me, you don't have the money to pay for your loans now, so having a low interest rate that won't break you when you get out of school in 4 years is ideal.
- If you have a loving and kick ass dad like mine, you're parents can try and pay off some of the interest that you create while in school. It's good to have family backing because that makes the process a little more maybe comforting. Just the feeling of knowing that you have your parents to lean back on if something goes wrong is a blessing that not many people have, so use it to your advantage!
-go with loans that need to be school verified, because these loans often have lower interest rates and your school will make sure that you only take out the amount that you need and nothing more! This will save you money!
- and lastly, don't be so down on yourself if you have debt after graduation! Most American graduates do and are still paying it off in their 40-50s It's just the way of this crazy ass system and you just like the millions of others have to take out loans to get by and try to make it. Don't feel overwhelmed by the cost either because most educational loan services will work with you to try and pay off your student loans. Also think about consolidation to try and get a lower interest rate and...just relax! You're on the same boat as millions of American graduates for undergraduate and graduate studies.
Well that's all the tips I have for now, and remember getting a higher education is an investment..a costly one but one with lucrative benefits..even though you might not feel that way in the beginning... because I know I don't feel that way now T^T
Links to check out:
Search Amazon.com for textbook buyback store
Search Amazon.com Books for textbook buyback store
Saturday, May 28, 2011
This summer
Well, it's almost time for summer school now and...I have mixed feelings about it. A part of me is looking forward to begin classes in America again and start my internship but then a part of me just wants to have fun this summer like I had originally planned. I want to graduate though so this summer school thing can't be helped. I graduate around this time next year and one thing that's been on my mind.... a lot LOL are the loans that I took out to pay for the moment I walk across that stage in May.
Being a student in America, from elementary school to college, I have to say has some advantages but there are a lot of disadvantages as well. From elementary to high school, most children including myself go to public school which is free and funded by the government, as it should be in my opinion. There's no competition to get into the best high school or....even elementary school (yes I've been looking at that one Japanese drama..namae wo nakushita megami...and if what they say in that drama is true..Japan has some serious problems..seriously) because you go to the school that's closest to where you live. Although this poses as a problem because where you live can decide if you get a better education than others, which leads into social class issues and stuff like that but that's how it is for now. However once you get to college, it's totally different. First, you have to have worked your ass of in high school just to get an ounce of hope of getting into a decent school and along with worrying about good SAT scores, which I have mixed feelings about as well it's hard for students to go to college. I mean, I took the SAT's and ok, most of the stuff on there, are things you should have learned in high school to get ready for college. But...I mean some of the questions on that test... are ridiculous. I mean, for the math part, since I've been in college, I have never done any of the questions that have been on that test and for the reading, why do they give kids words that....maybe only linguist majors would know...and then on top of that THE FEE that you have to pay in order to just take the test is ridiculous as well!! $43 to take a test! WHAT! Are you F**in' kidding me! Students already have to look forward to paying thousands of dollars to just get a higher education and you're telling me we all have to pay 43 dollars to get an assessment of ourselves..oh! And wait, this doesn't include the class fees that you potentially have to pay for if your school doesn't provide SAT prep in order to get AT LEAST a decent score on the test...because well, if you're not satisfied, you're going to have to pay that $43 fee again and who knows how many times you're going to have to take it! Where is all this money going! Some people can't go to college because they can't pay the damn fee to take an assessment test...*sigh* but I do see the need for the test to just assess how well a student would do in college, but I don't think college's should put that much weight on these scores because, they are just that...scores,only assessments of POSSIBILITY! If you really want to assess the student look at their grades and how much they are willing to put in the time to make decent grades. Now I know that there are flaws in this as well because according to the school, getting an A can be easier or harder and that's something that should be taken into consideration as well...maybe there needs to be a mix or a balance of the two in order to make a good assessment...I'm not even sure LOL
Well after you have to battle with this and you get into school, your like “finally! I did it! I paid my $43+ and I worked my ass off and I did it!” Your happy as hell...until you receive a $50,000 bill in the mail saying pay this by this date..or you can't go to school..it kind of brings the high down into a slight depression. So you do all that work to get in, just to rack up a nice big debt that you have to pay when you get out! Oh, the glorious life of a college student. Don't get me wrong there are scholarships and financial aid that the school gives to you and that really helps but....most of the time it only covers half, or maybe not even half of every thing that you have to pay for...when I graduate, I'm probably going to be looking at a 60,000~70,000 dollar debt that I have to pay. Now for me specifically I transferred schools so that set me back a year and it was costly but I felt that at the school I was at...would I really like being a French major? I asked myself this and I really wouldn't have enjoyed it. I would have paid all this money only for something that....I would wake up every morning and hate! Why would I do that to myself LOL So yeah I transferred and I would probably say it was one of the best things that I've done for myself...LOL although my wallet would probably say otherwise. But that's one of the problems I think we have to fix in America! students graduating from pretty decent schools that are just undergraduate universities with 100,000 dollar debts is not cool!
But anyway, sorry for the rant LOL I usually don't complain this much LOL but since I'm graduating soon...this type of stuff has been on my mind. I try not to let it get to me that much though, and look at the positive side of things. I mean like I'm blessed enough to have my dad here that has been paying what he can and after I graduate will probably take on half of the debts that me AND my sisters have made T^T I love you daddy! and then after graduation, there's a whole new chapter of my life that's ready to be written BY ME LOL..that's exciting, but sometimes it does scare me...but when does life not scare people a little you know. Just thinking about it, I have a pretty good life and I'm really blessed.
Friday, May 13, 2011
２Years now~~~
OK! So I'm back from study abroad if you've been following my blog in Japan, and today is the 2 year anniversary since I cut off all my hair and went natural! Today I decided to flat iron it and see how long it is and......it was painful as HELL!!! Trying to straighten natural black hair is so painful T^T I was crying the whole time, but I just took the pain because I wanted to see how long it was....if I had a tooth nozzle for my blow dyer and my maxi-glide flat iron, it probably wouldn't have hurt so much...but anyway, I'm pretty surprised at how long my hair is! It's much longer than I had expected, and that means I'm taking good care of my hair and doing what I need to make it grow! At first I had doubts but now I know I'm actually doing the right thing! By this time next year, I think my hair should be all the way down my back! I'm so excited about it!
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