Hurricane Sandy

So guys, I am one of the more fortunate ones to have regained power the next day (Tuesday 10/30) One hell of a storm. This just goes to show what climate change really does people! It's so important now then ever that we not turn a deaf ear to this. How can we as people living on this Earth just ignore all the signs that say "Hey! Change your ways or your going to be living on the next Venus" Hurricanes like this have never and I mean never happened like this in my 23 years of living and if nothing is done, I might see even worse than this.

Right now I do feel powerless to help because I have a crap load of burdens and worries I'm facing myself right now. Student loan debt and debt collectors calling asking if I have a job yet and if I'm going to have trouble paying...I mean these people are crazy. If I tell you I don't have a job yet with no money coming in, then yes, yes I will have a problem making payments. It's just insanity. Discover student loans has called me twice already, PNC three times and countless emails, welcome to hell Asheli =)

If having a massive debt isn't stressful enough, I have yet to find a job which has it's on tolls on your psyche. I'm still looking and hopefully will hear back from somewhere soon.

My relationship with my boyfriend isn't the best. My body is doing all sorts of weird things since I've been sexually active for the first time in my life and sometimes it really scares me. I have no idea what's going on and I don't want to scare him too but I feel like I need to talk to someone about it...I feel like if I talk to my mom about having pregnancy-like symptoms she'll freak out and tell me I told you so. We're very responsible though and always always use protection so I know I shouldn't worry, but there's always the what if and this is my first time being active so I don't know what the hell I'm feeling or what my body is telling me. It's just scary sometimes because everyone says you are the one that knows your body the best...but lately I've been feeling kinda distant and unsure about what the hell my body's been telling me. For the past couple of weeks I've been feeling nauseated, since yesterday I've been peeing a lot and cramping.

Most of these symptoms probably mean that my period's coming and I've probably been peeing a lot because I've been wearing pants that put pressure on my lower abdomen but if you haven't known by now I'm the epitome of a hypochondriac so it goes without saying that urinary tract infection, cervical cancer, uterine cancer, pregnancy and everything in between pop into my head...

sorry I kind of got off track about my relationship...well I guess with me being scared and unsure, mood swings and both of us still trying to figure out our place in each others lives...it goes without saying that our relationship isn't stellar. We fight, talk, worry, fight some more, I feel like he doesn't care about me one minute and feel like he's the best thing since slice bread the next, it's just an emotional roller coaster but in the end, when I think about it I wouldn't want to be riding this ride with a complete ass that didn't give to shits about the way I feel and think, and he is the furthest thing from that so I guess that's all I can ask for. We're both in transitional phases in our lives and it goes without saying that uncertainty, fear, anger, aggression, and all that other stuff comes with dating and life in general...so I'll just have to ride it out...just like people are doing with this storm!

Everyone, please be safe and let's start listening to our surroundings! I pray for all the people in New York and New Jersey who have been flooded and have power outages. We all have struggles some more serious than others but struggles nonetheless. We all are not weak though! We can get through this. I will be strong and brace another day just like everyone else should because the human race is a strong willed and powerful people.