Today I went to buy a suit with my mom for my upcoming interview. After deciding on what to get I tried to present my lesson to my sister and mom today. For some reason I couldn't really enthuse myself and gain the courage to present in the way I know that I should to get the job. It's like I'm holding my own self back from being what I know I can be.
I did get through the presentation though and took the feedback from my mom and sister. I just wish I could get out of this shy period in my life and just break out of my shell. It's just like something in my mind is holding me back. I hope I'm able to gain enough courage to really deliver on the 13th and get a call back.
That being said, today I looked online to see what other people in my situation (BA in Japanese) were doing. Of course I found the JET program and teaching English in Japan to be the number one choice but some of the results I found and what people were saying about language majors really shocked and depressed me. Some said that a BA in Japanese was totally useless, or that you should couple it with something else to try and get your "real career" on track. When I look at myself, I had changed my major from French to Japanese, and I never really had an interest in business or finance... foreign policy or politics to really concentrate on any of them. I had liked studying Japanese...and although it became and still is a little overwhelming at times, I do still like to learn about the language. I feel that I don't really have a real career path that a BA could have started my life on. I don't regret my decision to major in Japanese...because it was pretty much the only thing that I had that much of a passion for to study and read about. Everything else just seemed like a chore with no means to an end.
I think about my debt and would it have changed or gotten less massive if I hadn't majored in Japanese...and to tell the truth it probably would be, but I wouldn't have been able to experience everything I had up until now if I hadn't transferred. I wouldn't have been able to go to ICU, I wouldn't have been able to get my Japanese to a N2 level proficiency and I wouldn't have met the love of my life. Even though I made a mistake and hadn't borrowed as smart as I should have, I'm glad I was able to experience what I did. I wouldn't be the person I am at this moment if I hadn't went through those experiences, so I don't regret my decision. There are days when I feel like I'm going to break down but in those times, by boyfriend and my family raise my spirits back up and help me through the hard times. I am so blessed to have them.
My dad, when he was young had us and my mom to take care of. He would go to school and have dead end jobs working at a factory, Sears and other places just to get by. I remember him waiting at the bus stop everyday because he didn't even have a car. He had two children to take care of, working on a degree and yes loans to pay off too. He didn't roll over and die though. He kept pulling through and to this day it's made him what he his today. Adversity brings out the character in all of us. Looking at my situation now, I just have to fight like my dad did. I have to continue on. This is what I chose and this is what I have to deal with right now. If my dad can do it with two kids and a third on the way and overcome all of that to get to where he is, then I can get through what I'm going through right now and come out even stronger. I'm glad I talked to my dad today. He really motivates me to move ahead and I love him.
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